(This post is about feelings from the hart, that is difficult in a language that’s not your native language, so, forgive me if I write something stupid)
I was always a person whose motto is “Live your dream!”. If I like something I dive in to it and if I don’t like it I step out.
But sometimes it’s also important to value what you have and be satisfied.
My life was complete. A wonderful family, which functioned like an oiled machine, a cosy home, a nice summerhouse near the beach and a workplace at home, where I could make my dolls in financial freedom. But I wanted to ”Live my dream”.
I always dreamed of having a shop and with the beautiful renovated 1930 street with available shops, around the corner, I set my mind on it. In spite of the negative advice, from people around me.
My shop would be, the most beautiful, stylish, romantic craft shop of the whole country. And it was/is beautiful, and the customers did like my shop, and they did buy a lot (mostly yarn). But with the high rent and other costs, in a few months, I didn't have enough money to buy enough new stock. My knee got injured, my mother got very ill and died seven months later.
My beautiful shop became a struggle and a burden.
Now, after 18 months now, were am I?
Well I tell you: No stock, high bills, a lot of heard work to be able to pay the rent, family who doesn't get the attention they need, the same for my home, no summerhouse, no vacation, no money, not happy, lac of creativity.
(I know there are people suffering much, much worse. I realize that!)
But light is at the end of the tunnel. My shop is for rent, now and it wound be long before I am back in my “en suite” with my sewing machine and my wool. Back where I belong, be there for my husband and children and do what I love the most. Create dolls and other handmade's.
When I was 13 years old, my aunt and uncle (Oom Ted en Tante Hilda) gave me a Delft blue tile, especially made for me, with a quote on it.
It was in my kitchen all the time! But apparently, I needed a lesson.
Keep it small, Anouk!